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Yesterday, I had a kind of awakening.  I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I had an epiphany, because I already knew this thing, I’d just let myself forget it. I’mma gonna let this thought finish, but first some background.

Yesterday I went to Live Spark & Livewired at the powerhouse.  Both great shows and I would highly recommend anybody who can checks out Live Spark’s Indie acts at least once, and Live Wired every chance the get.  Yesterday the Live Spark acts were Ichabod’s Crane and The Lucky Wonders. (As an aside why do all indie bands have MySpace profiles?) I really liked Ichabod Crane’s sound even though I only really caught the last third of their set, and The Lucky Wonders were really good.  Livewired was awesome with Wil Anderson starting us off with a quick 10 before he headed to the airport (allegedly) and with Sammy J headlining.

I met a few of the QUT Cliffhangers there for us to check out the lineup for Livewired and have a good night.  I rocked up at the previously notified time of 1600.  At about 1530 N called and said that she would be there at 1700 rather than 1600 as previously discussed and L & A were still maybes. B (not a Cliffhanger) couldn’t make it because she was tired and F (also not a Cliffhanger) really needed to study. At first while I was sitting there alone I got a little perturbed and even slightly upset, but I allowed myself to get into the acts and just enjoy the performances as I had alone many times before.

Don’t get me wrong sometimes I like to do things alone, I would even go so far as to say that from time to time most of humanity shits me to tears; however, I have really started to like doing things with other people.  Human beings are social creatures after all, even strange little monkeys like me.

Then N arrived and the happy little social creature time began. Then L & A got there. Seeing the happy couple got me thinking and not in a way likely to leave my jumping for joy.  I started thinking about opportunities lost through inaction, disappointments felt and potential joy missed out on.  In short emotional opportunity costs I had incurred.  And I remembered an old maxim “where a choice exists between action and inaction, always choose action” that I should pay more attention to and follow where I can.

Coming back to this I started to think of Jethro Gibb’s rules (the TV series NCIS, but how can you not get the reference?)  and how while violable under certain circumstances they provide him (the character) a valuable framework to guide his actions.  I’m not in a position to lay down such a rigid system for myself but there are a few I will endeavor to keep in mind:

  1. Never screw over a friend.
  2. In a choice between action and inaction, choose action
  3. Don’t believe what you’re told. Check for yourself.

At the moment those are all I want to start with.  Like Gibb’s rules I want mine to grow from experience. After all ‘good decisions comes from experience and experience comes from bad decisions’.

I have made errors of omission simply by staying home.  Sure I’ve been hurt in the past, but I need to jump back up on those horses and ride on.  To make this happen I need to get back on the cliffs and so what if a 10 m grade 11 takes me an hour, I need to talk to strangers and acquaintances who could be good friends or even more, and I need to seize each and every day.

I need to leave my inherent shyness behind and embrace every opportunity to be with people.

So go forth people and embrace life. Understand that walking the long road and taking the scenic detours involves pain, but that the rewards are commensurate with the risks. And love. Above all love you fellow men and women because if you don’t this little rock will get pretty crowded.

This evening after work, I went to the after work watering hole to have a few drinks to celebrate somebody else’s anniversary of the first breath.   I spent a fair proportion of the night talking to one of the girls from work.

I now have additional evidence that I do not understand women.

I am fine at talking to girls/women as long as I don’t see them as a potential romantic partner.  Why I draw any distinction is still beyond me.  My almost colleague’s advice to me “be less shy”. Cue the sarcasm, but no I will resist.

I actually appreciate the advice.  I can see that it is intrinsically correct and were it to be practical, it would be of significant value.  But  one significant question remains.

How?

How do I ‘be less shy’ short of one suggestion which was snogging random girls in bars.  No wonder I’m not a huge fan of the bar scene if that is an expected behaviour.

I understand that I need to talk to more women to try and find one that I think is worth putting the time into to try and build a relationship.  I worry that what I have to talk about, as it’s not pop culture related very much if at all, won’t be of any interest to any women that I meet at random.

I mean how interesting is ‘I was reading about this extraordinary find in the night sky this morning. It is a binary carbon star that is projecting spirals of carbon molecules and is now (well 3000 years ago when the light left it to come to the hubble telescope)  over 3 trillion kilometers across!  It’s so dark that the hubble exposure was 33 minutes long to record the breath taking image. (Hat Tip to Dr Phil Plait on Bad Astronomy) I find it fascinating, but would a woman I approached at random?

Or the prevalence of Pi in mathematics? Or the cascading harmonies in a constant note from a violin? Or the elegance in a beautiful piece of code? Or how cameras try to make the average colour in a photo 18% grey?

Is it the case that the passion of the speaker can make the boring inspirational?  Can I be a powerful conversationalist with my atypical interests?

Your thoughts are not only welcome, but in fact are highly prized.

So my next birthday approaches, and I’m deciding what I am going to do about it.  I mean it’s a depressing enough event without feeling the need to celebrate it, although a celebration of my completion of another circumnavigation of Sol at 1 au of altitude (he he nerd joke) will be impetus enough to reach out to friends of yesterday and to embrace those of today.

So ideas about how to mark the day, which fortunately is a Saturday this year.

Step 1. Examine current interests for inspiration.

  • Laserforce – Nah too juvenile to have the whole thing there (besides they’d frown on the amount of C2H5OH that would be consumed).
  • Shooting – Yeah, this maybe better left well enough alone. Besides I’ve been well slack about going recently.
  • Sci Fi – Easy to incorporate, not to easy to make the center piece.
  • Rock Climbing – Well it’s in storm season, and indoor is a bit exey for a big group
  • Mathematics – Ha I’m hilarious…
  • Drinking – This works…

Ok, so were going to work in C2H5OH (ethanol for those of you who don’t think in terms of notation of various forms), probably some music, maybe some indoor rock climbing (because having a jumping castle has been done recently), slacklining is a must have, And the people from Sci Fi & Lasers will probably have to do. And there will be maths in the planning for it so… Yay!

Step 2. Guest List…  So I’ll throw out a broad net here.  The gang from Uni, old School mates, mates from Work, the gang from lasers, my Sci Fi mates, the rock climbers who won’t be driving to the Bluies on the day (unfortunately the convoy down leaves on my b’day 😦 and I won’t be in it.).  Also anyone I would have invited to my 21st or 18th had I actually had a significant party for either of these.  I’ll have to track down some of the peeps from Rovers and trow the net that way as it will be the day I would have been ‘Booted’ had I stayed in.

Step 3. Venue… Well there are a number of factors here, including capacity, cost, location and permitted activities.  Harking back to my days in scouting I think a Scout Den would be a good choice for the party location. Easy enough to hire (and not too expensive).  Do I want to have staff? Security? Bartender? What’s the budget?  Am I buying booze or is it BYO? (Leaning heavily to BYO I have some hard drinking friends – you know who you are). Probably a security guard fir the door but nobody else.

Step 4. Entertainment… I’m thinking partly recreating the Mana Bar would be cool but I only have a Wii and an old PS2 and only one TV.  The PC will be occupied being the Jukebox along with my Amp and speakers. Or will I try to beg borrow or steal these items?

So to try and sort these things out, Scout Hall, all and sundry, quotes for security, and determine an entertainment plan…  At least it’s after central exams.

Have fun Kiddies.