I bought a violin last week. It was an almost religious experience finding my first violin. I truly love that instrument already. I’m sure this relationship will only strengthen as time goes on.

I have a lot of work ahead of me to be able to do the violin justice. This week’s lesson focused on the first of many underpinning skills and techniques I need to begin playing properly.

I found several things that will improve as I learn to play and practice the exercises specifically targeting these weaknesses. I have exercises for this week working on the flexibility of my left shoulder and hand, the strength of my right pinkie (for bow control) and my sense of rhythm. Some of the exercises make me feel a little silly (clapping and marching in place at different paces, really) and some of them cause me some discomfort. That is to be expected aw I am using my body in ways it has never been used before.

Thus begins one of my potentially lifelong relationships. Come back and read more as this relationship blossoms.

It’s an intense 75 minute circus and contemporary dance  presentation that just kicks arse and tickets are only $35 & 25 for concessions and groups of 10+.

Oh and if you leave a little inspired: http://circa.org.au/adults.php They offer classes. Just sayin’.

My rules do not have penalties other than opportunity cost associated yet, and they probably never will.

I am creating this list, building this book one rule at a time, and I will explore why I have added each rule.  This will explore what it means to me, what I hope to achieve, why this is the best framework and any historical impetus behind this rule.

These rule poss (for the first three rules) will appear as I get around to completing them. But there will be more of the usual ranting and such coming soon.

Yesterday I went to Live Spark & Livewired at the powerhouse.  Both great shows and I would highly recommend anybody who can checks out Live Spark’s Indie acts at least once, and Live Wired every chance the get.  Yesterday the Live Spark acts were Ichabod’s Crane and The Lucky Wonders. (As an aside why do all indie bands have MySpace profiles?) I really liked Ichabod Crane’s sound even though I only really caught the last third of their set, and The Lucky Wonders were really good.  Livewired was awesome with Wil Anderson starting us off with a quick 10 before he headed to the airport (allegedly) and with Sammy J headlining.

I met a few of the QUT Cliffhangers there for us to check out the lineup for Livewired and have a good night.  I rocked up at the previously notified time of 1600.  At about 1530 N called and said that she would be there at 1700 rather than 1600 as previously discussed and L & A were still maybes. B (not a Cliffhanger) couldn’t make it because she was tired and F (also not a Cliffhanger) really needed to study. At first while I was sitting there alone I got a little perturbed and even slightly upset, but I allowed myself to get into the acts and just enjoy the performances as I had alone many times before.

Don’t get me wrong sometimes I like to do things alone, I would even go so far as to say that from time to time most of humanity shits me to tears; however, I have really started to like doing things with other people.  Human beings are social creatures after all, even strange little monkeys like me.

Then N arrived and the happy little social creature time began. Then L & A got there. Seeing the happy couple got me thinking and not in a way likely to leave my jumping for joy.  I started thinking about opportunities lost through inaction, disappointments felt and potential joy missed out on.  In short emotional opportunity costs I had incurred.  And I remembered an old maxim “where a choice exists between action and inaction, always choose action” that I should pay more attention to and follow where I can.

Coming back to this I started to think of Jethro Gibb’s rules (the TV series NCIS, but how can you not get the reference?)  and how while violable under certain circumstances they provide him (the character) a valuable framework to guide his actions.  I’m not in a position to lay down such a rigid system for myself but there are a few I will endeavor to keep in mind:

1. Never screw over a friend.
2. In a choice between action and inaction, choose action
3. Don’t believe what you’re told. Check for yourself.

At the moment those are all I want to start with.  Like Gibb’s rules I want mine to grow from experience. After all ‘good decisions comes from experience and experience comes from bad decisions’.

I have made errors of omission simply by staying home.  Sure I’ve been hurt in the past, but I need to jump back up on those horses and ride on.  To make this happen I need to get back on the cliffs and so what if a 10 m grade 11 takes me an hour, I need to talk to strangers and acquaintances who could be good friends or even more, and I need to seize each and every day.

I need to leave my inherent shyness behind and embrace every opportunity to be with people.

So go forth people and embrace life. Understand that walking the long road and taking the scenic detours involves pain, but that the rewards are commensurate with the risks. And love. Above all love you fellow men and women because if you don’t this little rock will get pretty crowded.

I now have additional evidence that I do not understand women.

I am fine at talking to girls/women as long as I don’t see them as a potential romantic partner.  Why I draw any distinction is still beyond me.  My almost colleague’s advice to me “be less shy”. Cue the sarcasm, but no I will resist.

I actually appreciate the advice.  I can see that it is intrinsically correct and were it to be practical, it would be of significant value.  But  one significant question remains.

How?

How do I ‘be less shy’ short of one suggestion which was snogging random girls in bars.  No wonder I’m not a huge fan of the bar scene if that is an expected behaviour.

I understand that I need to talk to more women to try and find one that I think is worth putting the time into to try and build a relationship.  I worry that what I have to talk about, as it’s not pop culture related very much if at all, won’t be of any interest to any women that I meet at random.

I mean how interesting is ‘I was reading about this extraordinary find in the night sky this morning. It is a binary carbon star that is projecting spirals of carbon molecules and is now (well 3000 years ago when the light left it to come to the hubble telescope)  over 3 trillion kilometers across!  It’s so dark that the hubble exposure was 33 minutes long to record the breath taking image. (Hat Tip to Dr Phil Plait on Bad Astronomy) I find it fascinating, but would a woman I approached at random?

Or the prevalence of Pi in mathematics? Or the cascading harmonies in a constant note from a violin? Or the elegance in a beautiful piece of code? Or how cameras try to make the average colour in a photo 18% grey?

Is it the case that the passion of the speaker can make the boring inspirational?  Can I be a powerful conversationalist with my atypical interests?

Your thoughts are not only welcome, but in fact are highly prized.

So ideas about how to mark the day, which fortunately is a Saturday this year.

Step 1. Examine current interests for inspiration.

• Laserforce – Nah too juvenile to have the whole thing there (besides they’d frown on the amount of C2H5OH that would be consumed).
• Shooting – Yeah, this maybe better left well enough alone. Besides I’ve been well slack about going recently.
• Sci Fi – Easy to incorporate, not to easy to make the center piece.
• Rock Climbing – Well it’s in storm season, and indoor is a bit exey for a big group
• Mathematics – Ha I’m hilarious…
• Drinking – This works…

Ok, so were going to work in C2H5OH (ethanol for those of you who don’t think in terms of notation of various forms), probably some music, maybe some indoor rock climbing (because having a jumping castle has been done recently), slacklining is a must have, And the people from Sci Fi & Lasers will probably have to do. And there will be maths in the planning for it so… Yay!

Step 2. Guest List…  So I’ll throw out a broad net here.  The gang from Uni, old School mates, mates from Work, the gang from lasers, my Sci Fi mates, the rock climbers who won’t be driving to the Bluies on the day (unfortunately the convoy down leaves on my b’day and I won’t be in it.).  Also anyone I would have invited to my 21st or 18th had I actually had a significant party for either of these.  I’ll have to track down some of the peeps from Rovers and trow the net that way as it will be the day I would have been ‘Booted’ had I stayed in.

Step 3. Venue… Well there are a number of factors here, including capacity, cost, location and permitted activities.  Harking back to my days in scouting I think a Scout Den would be a good choice for the party location. Easy enough to hire (and not too expensive).  Do I want to have staff? Security? Bartender? What’s the budget?  Am I buying booze or is it BYO? (Leaning heavily to BYO I have some hard drinking friends – you know who you are). Probably a security guard fir the door but nobody else.

Step 4. Entertainment… I’m thinking partly recreating the Mana Bar would be cool but I only have a Wii and an old PS2 and only one TV.  The PC will be occupied being the Jukebox along with my Amp and speakers. Or will I try to beg borrow or steal these items?

So to try and sort these things out, Scout Hall, all and sundry, quotes for security, and determine an entertainment plan…  At least it’s after central exams.

Have fun Kiddies.

So today began, and after the work lappy booted and I got established on the work network, I go hunting for the memo my boss wants.  I find it and wait for the email client to be ready.  I send it in and now sit wondering if it will be read by anybody this time.

Ablutions complete, I make myself ready for the day.  Shaving my ankle to taking the tape off won’t hurt so much felt a little weird and caused me to wonder why shaving with the grain of the hair is more effective.  Why shaving my face for these last few years hasn’t made me ask the same question is beyond me, for now.  Heading to the bus stop the day continues.

On the bus to Uni today nothing of note happened; this is of course unusual enough for me to feel the need to say something.

On a fail note, I left the text book for the subject of today’s exam at home. I am a moron sometimes. Then again it was multivariate calculus and I reckon I did just fine.  My exam was at noon (well the start time was 11 past, but close enough) and I had gotten through 18 / 20 marks in short order, but the damn proof of the greatest directional derivative being in the direction of the gradient had me stumped and I still think that I got it wrong although my arguments at points were pretty good.  I think I put just enough errors in there for me to lose most of the 2 marks assigned. And I will have made other little mistakes on the paper.

Then I went to the bar with D. I had one too many to precede the computational mathematics lecture.  I still understood what the lecturer was talking about, but I am going to have to do some serious study of the concepts to maximise my result on the end of semester exam.

On the plus side schooners of Bundy Draught are only $6.50 at the Guild Bar, Level 3 L Block, QUT Gardens Point. Epic.

Stupid, annoying colleague gave me the shits this afternoon and I wasn’t even at work.  Why would you call somebody while they are on a day off and ask them about the redistribution of tasks? Am I the only one who finds that annoying? Maybe I should call her on her next day off, while The timetable she has at her desk shows that she is in a lecture (grrr… calling me in a published lecture block I mean WTF?) and not leaving a message.

Work isn’t going to be fun any time soon either.  New acting boss who is normally one of our key service providers, who has been arguing for the dissolution of our section and the transference of the responsibilities to his section for years now.  Yeah, he’s not going to abuse his position of authority over us.

Oh and I’m still, probably permanently, single. Doesn’t help that the one time I look like having actually commenced a relationship I get shafted. Joy.

Oh, I did read some good things today but I’ll talk about readings another time.

I’m pretty happy with where I am now and I’m ready to start sharing it. And this is where it gets interesting…

I had an epiphiny a while back and that was that I needed to get out more. A lot more. So I started heading out more, I took up a new sport, I embraced my desires for some hobbies and I got my bike.  This wasn’t an effort to pick up by any means. It was an effort to fill a large void best described as social interaction.

It has been great.  I am still reading lots, still learning lots still enjoying plenty of alone time but I have the beginnings of a network of friends. As well as that I have reached out across the spans of time and reconnected with some people I’d lost touch with and in doing so re-established some good friendships.

I’m actually content with my lot at the moment.  While I’d like to travel, I’d rather travel with someone else.  While I’d like to go out more It’s becoming increasingly evident that what I want most is someone to share the journey with.  Someone to care for, someone to love and be loved by.  So I started being active again on an online personals site and There are some amazing people on there.  Girls I’d like to just talk to.  Girls who I don’t feel worthy of knowing.  Now for those of you who know me, the lack of confidence is probably taking you aback, but it’s true.  

Yes, I’m immensly confident when it comes to most things technical, and even those non-technical things where I have some aptitude, but talking to girls… ahhh not so much.  As you can probably imaging this lack of self confidence doesn’t sit well in my slightly egodriven psyche.
 

It isn’t so much that I fear rejection (although that is one mask the anxiety presents itself in) it is just that I have no fracking idea what I’m doing.  Now I know everything (almost) but this.  And that annoys me. And scares me.

So I’m gtting into this ‘trying to get agirlfirend’ thing and I find an A Grade ten and a half (+1 bogan point for you if you can idenify the reference) on theonline personals site.  As Geo (Geologicrecords.com) puts it ‘B³ – Brains, Body, Both’. Now don’t any of my female friends feel put out – she is a gamer, atist, geek & more who identifes as single, and is withn a comfortable ride/drive and is on an online personals site.  Frak, I have to write to her. Shit. What do I say? How do I phrase it? Do I loose the Geek inside? So many quetions, so many possible permutations,so many potential landmines. 

So I slug through it and come up with a letter that (I hope) was enough t provoke a response, preferably positive, maybe maybe maybe even interesed, although the likelyhood of that is low.  

Now the waiting begins and I hope to be evaluated and not found wanting.  

But even content wit my lot as I am, I still want more.  I duppose that is a fundamental part of the human condition.

Probably more updates as they come to light.

As a Post Scriptm aside, is Holly-Phoenix coming back.  I’m starting to worry because it has bee all quiet on the western front for a while now. And i finally got around to user picing it up. ’bout time.

Friday Night: I missed training Friday because I was busy getting some intersections ready to be changed over for a big project and then I was reading Justina Robson’s QuantumGravity Book Two; Selling Out. Damn this series is a cracking read. Thanks Kimberly for the reccomendation, again.

Onto Saturday: Went to the attempted commisioning of a set of traffic lights at lunchtime, but my favourite subbies had screwed the pooch again. Not only was the linemarking not done (no way I’m turning on an intersection that isn’t marked out), they have screwed up the wiring for a special call button that calls a special phase. Again a critical fault – no switch on for you. And they don’t have the communications link running yet so I can’t consent to turning the damn thing on either.

After telling these muppets to get their shit together, take two asprin and I’ll see you for a 10am switch-on on Tuesday, I went down to the Ship Inn and met up with the Brisbane Sci-Fi & Fantasy crew at their main meet. So I’m driving today so no booze even though I’m at the Inn.  Most of the crew are going to see wolverine so like a good little lamb I tagged along and it was better than I was expecting, but then again I wasn’t expecting much.  — Special note to Hugh Jackman, Computer Generated dosn’t have to be crap –

Kicked on from the Movies to a mate’s place and Watched Conan the Barbarian over Canadian Club & Coke (had a couple of light ones) and then shot the shit untill 4AM. Damn 4 AM as in ya’ know just before dawn.  I ran 2 people home and sacked out by 0445 hrs.

It’s well and truly Sunday now: I was awoken after not more than 4 hours sleep by my dear cat.  Grrrrr. No, I didn’t go an play Triad.  It started at eleven and I was still in bed recovering from the night before despite my consciousness.  I was still reading Selling Out by Justina Robson.  As I said above awesome read I sorta didn’t want to hear back out that night but I did.  Caxton Street was a disaster so the cab to my mates place cost ten bucks more than it should have but the night out was gonna be expensive anyway.  Rumble, Rock & Wrestling was a fun gig and the wrestleing was tacky-fun in an I’m-kinda-drunk-and-these-guys-suck-kinda way.  We went back to the mate’s place and we RPG’d a scenario with a space pirate who stole a terraforming organism unwittingly & annoyed the sister of one of the deceased crew, who was captaining one of the pursuing starships, so much that she turned on the terraforming organism. I died when I turned mutinous. End of Game – 4:15 AM, another taxi an sleep by 0520hrs

Welcome to Monday:  The cat let me sleep, maybe she figured I’d skin her alive if she woke me up again after sacking out so late, but I still only got 6 hours of sleep.  Housework, finish the book (awesome read by the way check it out) and then to cap off the weekend, finally watch Twilight, the movie. Oh God, what a soggy shit sandwich of a movie.  Yes, it is reasonably faithful to the book but what they added & omitted didn’t add much.  Yes, I typically don’t like book adaptions as much as the book but damn they changed some of the set-ups for future books. Yes, the book isn’t literature, it’s poorly written crack but it’s still a good story if you prefix all mensions of Vampire with "Pathetic, Emo, Softcore" just to add the correct adjectives.  No, a modern architectural digest house dosn’t look like it has been there for ever.  Since when does Edward take Bella up trees, he is trying to keep her alive, not let her fall to her death.  Oh and since when does ‘Alabaster pale" translate to "normal looking white guy". Damn it.

Yes I’m still aggrivated but it’s not directed at anyone so I’m off to buy some dice.
 

I went to a Battlestar Galactica Finale party on Saturday night… That was fun and even though I thought the finale itself could have been better, the atmosphere was great.  Then I went home and made a galacticly stupid mistake.

I cracked Twilight.

Type your cut contents here.

I got home form the party at about 1210 am on Sunday morning, went through my post-night-out routine (ya know the usual: ablutions, banana, lots of water) and then I opened the book which I had already been warned was like flash (Andromeda Reference for the uninitiates) after the first dose you can’t get enough.

Well 75 pages later, I fell asleep from exhaustion, not disinterest (I have been shorting out on sleep so I was caught up to attend Saturdays Party), and slept for about 4 1/2 hours.  This was not enough to eliminate my sleep deficit, not by a long shot.  Then I proceeded to read the rest of Twilight in one session.  It was soooo good. 

Stephanie Meyer may not be the most literary of writers, but she has a way of luring you through the story with each page an irresistable successor of the previous one.  She should be banned from including bonus chapters.

I am now in a state that I would describe as sleep deprived and the stupid thing is that the interuption to my usually unshakable ability to sleep is being caused by something that I enjoy so much.

33 Hours ago I had read nothing of Stephanie Meyer’s work but now I am 2 books and 300 pages into the Twilight universe. That may just be a dire commentary on my search for escapism and an alternative to the daily hum-drum of life in Brisbane.

Post Time – I’ve been at work now for an hour and a half and I’m completly shattered form a lack of sleep but all I want to do is finish reading the damn books.  Still no coding or testing for me today, I don’t want that on my conscience.